sin titulo

tratare de escribir en español pero se que no me saldra bien. no me saldran las palabras obviamente porque no son las mias. y no es porque lo escribo para ti, es porque a veces cuando pienso en nosotros follando siento un cierto tipo de calor que me viene por dentro mientras que las manos empiezan a escalofriar. por eso estoy siempre cálida. 

Von

the only reason why you´re here is because i pictured you here before. i closed my eyes and i could smell your skin, i took a deep breath and i could hear your voice, and every step of the way i felt arms around me and it all seemed so familiar. i wasnt nervous, i was anxious to live everything i had already known about your nights. its true i wasnt sure what to do with my eyes, where to put my voice how to move my hands, you were there too. its true i was all me. and the fact that now it became true cannot be a fact anymore. i cant breathe and somewhere in my stomach there is a hollow point, it tickles and my hands get cold instantly, i cant feel my heart beating anymore and my head is spinning. you breathe, fill me up, warm up every inch, every word i say is my heart beating and you re holding my head in your hands. 

si cu asta ma pis pe voi, pe toti, cu mandretea mea de pussy in care n-ati stiut sa va comportati...

acum cand nu-mi mai revin din haul asta de singuratate dulce si calda vad cat de mult am pierdut din mine. nu-mi mai pot imagina nici un compromis nici de dragul sportului nici de dragul dragului. am ramas doar eu cu mine si tot ce mi se mai pare normal si corect este sa nu mai fac niciodata nici un compromis. am inecat in mine toti anii trecuti, plini de teribilism hormonal si o lipsa acuta de limite. credeam ca ii inec si atat si eram mandra de usurinta cu care nu ma puteam indragosti de nici una dintre pulile voastre. si cand colo ma sufocam incet pe dinauntru, ma inghiteam cu sila si ma uitam in ochii mei zambind trist, triumfator, l-am futut si pe-asta, nici pe el nu-l iubesc... si singura oara cand am simtit totul n-am facut nimic desigur, foarte monty python-esque, si toate sufletele pe care le-am dejectat in mine pana atunci ne-au sugerat ca cica am fi nebuni. asa ca eu n-am scos un cuvant si el rusinat de postura jenanta in care se afla si-a propus sa uite tot ce nu i-am spus. si dupa aceea iar o droaie de suflete. si acum nici unul. 

wouldnt it be a shame to leave her just the way you found her...

nici macar nu stii cum suna vocea mea cand mi-e pofta, sau cum ma stramb cand ceva miroase urat. nu stii nimic despre mine. si tocmai am visat ca ma intorceam la tine. tocmai am visat ca daca ma intorc ma intorc pentru tine. si tu o sa nu stii cine sunt cand o sa intru pe usa biroului tau. si eu o sa ma uit pe geam inspre filos. si tu o sa te uiti la mine. si degeaba. 

do a line for me, please

im not changing anything but scenery after scenery. the story remains the same though. and we are all getting bored of it. of putting up with people you loathe and falling for the ones who loathe you. arent we all getting a bit bored here? i left then and now its good, now im no one but i know i will return to be even a bigger curiosity than i was before. and i dont remember if i want it anymore. and i cannot put myself into following the tacit rules of social conduct, im so full of shit actually, im a mean fucked up bitch. and it was good to have people around you that have no idea but what happens when all of you comes stumbling upon all that pile of bullshit nice girl you ve built up. and when you unveil the ruthless logic of your twisted mind what then? cause im not mean, im just fucked up and i lack edges. i need you to draw a line for me, please. 

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mda. imi este foarte dor. de mtine.

Le grande, pour les petits enfants.

i reckon it makes you even worse when you cant say it then when you, cunt, say it. and i cant live with it. am boala asta in mine, imi provoaca febra, greata si varsaturi, dureri cumplite de stomac, o sfarseala de nedescris in oase si crampe musculare in somn. si nu e ca si cum n-as mai fi incercat sa dorm pana acum. am dormit si inca foarte bine, cred ca e de sezon insa, imi amintesc foarte clar ca anul trecut pe vremea asta eram incolacita in jurul unui munte de pastile si de sticle goale. e felul corpului meu de a-si aminti de toata durerea fizica, da zic fizica, pe care mi-ai provocat-o intr-un timp atat de... nu stiu daca scurt e la fel de fidel realitatii ca ireal. si ma tot scurg, si ma tot sfarsesc asa, cateva zile pe an, nu multe dar nici foarte putine. sunt momentele cheie si asocierile absurde prin absenta si de altfel o foarte sanatoasa lipsa de sens. am subestimat capitolul asta, cred ca e cazul sa incepem sa vorbim despre toata cartea si capata proportiile, nu ale Micului Larousse, ci ale unuia imens insa tot pentru copii...