rational behaviour. part 1

i cant even begin to explain all the ways in which you, my dear boy, failed. guys like you usually dont end up on my wall, but i think you needed a lesson. you dont get to treat me that way because im so much more than you can handle. and i was good, and i played nice, i know what its like to be crushed, and i know how hard it is to get up, and i understand that sometimes even if you do get up, youre somehow still crushed. i can see that you put things in boxes all the way up just to keep you occupied, and i can see that you actually feel lost lonely and frustrated but you keep building a wall around your neck and keep yourself either busy or stoned so that you dont feel the choke. i know that and i see it because i have been there. and also because i refuse to believe that people are just senseless and stupid and simply raised badly and dont know jack about human interaction. i refuse that, so i give you the benefit of the doubt. either way, i wont let you know i gave it to you, you wouldnt know what to do with it. but i dont love you and cant seem to feel the right things for a piece of stone. and i cant let a piece of stone use me unless i may somehow be helping the piece of stone, but you dont want and cant be helped as far as im concerned. so im leaving. but we can really still be friends and occasionally fuck if necessary. only that... i needed to tell you all this because its really useless in a funny way to keep pretending and let you feel obliged in any way. dont, really, im fine, just have the balls to admit what you feel or dont feel. it takes a bit of a man to be able to do so.  xo xo darling, baby, hunny, sweetie and all the other names i couldnt get myself to feel like calling you.